We didn’t suddenly start making out every time we got together or even every time we played out in the woods. It did happen a few times but not always. As we entered high school the next year we began to date as couples. Not always as individual couples, but most of the time. Sometimes Laura and I would double date but mostly we went separately. Nor did any of the four of us limit ourselves. The boys dated other girls and Laura and I dated other boys, but Tom and I frequently went out together as did Ron and Laura. By sophomore year we hadn’t become exclusive couples but were most frequently seen together as pairs. When Halloween came we once again planned our own four person party at Tom’s home. First a cookout around the fire. Then stories. Now the stories had become a little more suggestive than they had been, but were still mostly scary ghost stories. Then the hunts in the woods. This year Laura and I decided something before the party. I should probably mention that Laura and I. I am finally able to cry, I finally have a reason. He senses this change, the beast has left him, and he curls around me, silent but comforting, and his reassuring warmth and steady heartbeat slowly lull my exhausted body to sleep…. If I am not angry, if I am only tired and frightened, overwhelmed with the weight of the world, then he is tender to me, oh so tender. Every inch of my body is touched, soothed, loved. Sometimes we are in warm water and sometimes we are on a huge bed in an intimate chamber, but his touch and caress doesn’t stop until I am completely relaxed. He works away all of the stress, all of the worry, all of the responsibility of the day until I am barely more than a child again – my only duty and purpose to love him as much as he loves me. And I weep, I cry with joy at being innocent again, at being whole again, I sob heavily as I realize that it was all just a bad dream and my reality, my true life is here in his arms, serving him, loving him, not the banal.
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